After 2022 - by some distance the band’s busiest year of live shows to date - had finally calmed, the suddenly quiet beginning of 2023 was a decisive moment for Dana. “I got home having been so sad and so tired for so long, and running from that sadness using work and exhaustion to the point of distraction, and then suddenly I wasn’t on tour all the time,” she remembers, “I was just sitting in my room.” This became a period of reflection for the songwriter who had not stopped for the best part of a decade, and had knotty questions about identity, creativity and family to unpack. “I come from a family of workaholics,” smiles Dana, “it’s that, and it’s art, it’s not just work. It’s my whole life.” Dana wanted to work out a way forward - how do you retain creativity, without harming yourself in the process?
When Joni Mitchell was once asked about writer’s block, she argued in favour of a creative “crop rotation” to keep going. That means, when you fall out of love with one thing, work on another and your creativity will find a way to heal itself. Dana Margolin began creating in new and different ways to bring herself back from the emotional experience of what was obviously a bad case of burnout.
As well as the painting that has been a crucial part of her creative life throughout her career (Dana has painted or directed the artwork for every Porridge Radio album), she composed the soundtrack for a BBC Radio 4 show with her bandmate Sam Yardley. She completed a solo UK tour playing new songs on her own just like in the old open mic days. She started a Substack, writing assuredly at length on anything from books that she has read, art shows she has attended or the general need to bear witness to the world around you. And, importantly, she began thinking more about poetry. Sure, Dana had always written poetry, but had filed it away as something different from her Porridge Radio craft. “There were things I was doing in songwriting,” says Dana, “that I felt I could become better at.”
You can hear some of this in tracks like Anybody - the startlingly frank opening track about “all the millions of ways I pushed myself out of shape to try to be a nice and sweet girl in order to be loveable” - and the storming and cathartic God Of Everything Else, the most explicitly break-up song on the album where Dana writes about spending “a year wishing I was somebody else.”
At the same time, a short-lived but intense relationship ended across 2023. “By the time I had recovered from the burnout,” says Dana, “we broke up.” The relationship and subsequent heartbreak fed into the genesis of the songs that would make up Clouds.
“A lot of this album is about a more frenetic and desperate kind of love,” says Dana, “it is about completely losing my sense of self in one relationship, and the deep residue of insecurity and pain that lingered and clouded a new relationship.” Older songs that were written as love songs - like In A Dream I’m A Painting - took on new meanings as Margolin viewed the songs with a new distance. “There was a lot of love and confusion, all interspersed with exhaustion and pain.”
The Clouds sessions took place in Frome as Winter melted into early Spring at the beginning of 2024. “There were a few breakdowns,” grins Dana, in a fair assessment of recording such intimate and personal songs, “after some takes I would just collapse on the floor, so upset.”An environment was fostered where Dana could express herself and be nurtured, and the band worked more closely than ever on sculpting the album. “We would have these big communal meals every night,” she says, “it felt very close knit and caring and warm and special.”
Released: October 2024
Cat: SC483lp-C1-V1
Label: Secretly Canadian
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Tracklist
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